Choosing the perfect partner for you

From a very young age most of us have an idea of the type of person we want to marry.  But for some of us that choice is not ours to make.  On the surface I truly believe there is no right way or wrong way.  Those of us who have arranged marriages are culturally conditioned to accept this as the normal way of life.  With globalization this number is sadly diminishing.  The rest of us are left to our own devices on making one of the biggest decisions of our lives.  We generally go it alone without ever reading the manual.  Not that said manual ever went into print or is on a website somewhere easily accessible.  No such luck!  And people wonder why divorces are on the increase.

Most of us select our life partner for pure love - "how do I feel when I am with them".  I would venture further and ask when say you love someone how well do you really know them?  Yes I know there is "unconditional love" but personally I feel that should only between parents and children. If intending on spending the rest of your life with someone is it not necessary to really know them? Generally we only know of people what they want us to see.  The wealthy tend use prenuptial agreements and this tends to afford certain protections but life being what it is some find ways around said protections depending on how well written they are of course.

Marriage is about bringing two lives together - it goes beyond just the good laughs and happy memories.  Do you know your future spouse's spending saving and spending habits?  Do these habits compliment yours? Some at least ask how many children they want to have before tying the knot but how many ask about credit score?  Do you ask how much debt your future partner is bringing to the table?  Most of us have some sort of debt - student loans etc but it matters how well the debt is serviced because all that they are will become part of who you are too. How well they handle their debt will affect what mortgage interest rates you qualify for.  You can end up paying more – the consequences are tangible.

There are, of course, ways to protect yourself should you find you have married someone who is not quite as responsible as you are.  Take for an example with paying taxes.  Some couples live very independent financial lives having separate bank accounts etc but when it comes to filing taxes it is not easy to go your separate ways.  It is not enough to say "my husband takes cares of all of that" - if you are signing documentation that certifies everything you have disclosed herein is "true and correct" then its the responsible thing to understand whether ALL the income is declared or if the expenses/deductions have all the necessary back up.

Taking a look at what is available to you is always an option - a good example is Injured-or-Innocent-Spouse-Tax-Relief.- but that only covers the actual refund.  Since by filing a joint return you are "joint and several liability" you want to look into protections that go beyond just the one return and Request for Innocent Spouse Relief.

Now I am not saying that you should only marry someone with a great FICO score - no not at all.  All I am saying is go into it with your eyes open.  Make an informed decision about both the love and financial stability of your future.  If one of you has bad financial habits at least you know you have your work cut out for you instead of finding out 3 - 10 years into marriage.

Plan your future as much as you can – do not let it just happen to you!.